- George Carlin International Dance Day 2023: Wishes and Messages for the occasion When you're born into this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. 84. WebAmerican stand-up comedian George Carlin is notable for his long-standing popularity from the early 60s up until his death in 2008. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. ~ (George Carlin). Im fu*kin serious! ~ (George Carlin). And theyre elected by American citizens. Web#1 Dont just teach your children to read. I just dont have as many people who believe it. There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. ~ (George Carlin). If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? When you die, it all stays here. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point. ~ (George Carlin). Here are some of our favorite George Carlin quotes on politics. Enjoy! 10. In America, anyone can become president. Thats the problem. 11. I call him Governor Bush because thats the only political office hes ever held legally in this country. They should be giving their money to you. Born in New York in 1937, George Carlin was an American comic icon, actor, social critic, and author. We are. ~ (George Carlin). You show me a tropical fruit and Ill show you a cocksucker from Guatemala. ~ (George Carlin). Now it's the zombie liberal.They say politics makes strange bedfellows--because today, the first amendment is under attack from people on the right and the left. Here's one for the ladies, "Nary-A-Carry"! Do these people honestly think that God is sitting around picking out his favorites? Pro-life, you don't see many of these anti-abortion women volunteering to have any Black fetuses transplanted into their uteruses, do you? He was a spiritual atheist as an adult. Something lofty and poetic: "Nay Family Way"; something earthhy and crude: "Mom Bomb"; something for the youngsters, "Junior Miss"; here's a real man's product, "Inconceivable"! 51. 57. Unlikely_Let2616 29 min. Ice Cube also recently voiced concerns that neither political party would actually be able to make a positive change for the betterment of Black Americansand that's reportedly the rapper's whole reasoning for working with the White House on the Platinum Plan, which aims to develop Black businesses and communities. This country was bought and sold and paid for a long time ago. We haven't tried that for a while. If you're born in America you get a front row seat. Religion is like a pair of shoes Find one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. 108. Electricity is really just organized lighting. ~ (George Carlin). The less said about it the better. ~ (George Carlin). Beneath George Carlins biting sarcasm and razor-sharp wit lay a heartfelt indignation at the injustices he observed in the world around him. "Edmund, you're talking to yourself." Here, we bring you 27 of the best George Carlin quotes of all time. Deal with it. 123. Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? If you have selfish ignorant citizens If you have selfish ignorant citizens, youre going to get selfish ignorant leaders. 53. 74. 83. Never argue with an idiot. If honesty were suddenly introduced into American life, the whole system would collapse. Carlin proved that mixing comedy with thought-provoking ideas is perhaps the only way to get people to listen. Quotes from the late comedian and social critic, George Carlin, often surface in the political arena of social media. Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breath away. The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. 29. ago Here is an entire class of people guaranteed never to have an abortion. 121. Everyone smiles in the same language. ~ (George Carlin). Because you have the most money? George Carlin. The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. America, America, man sheds his waste on thee, And hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to oily sea. ~ (George Carlin). And I didnt really care in the first place. ~ (George Carlin). 64. 97. Thats the problem." The shit they shuffle around every four years doesnt mean a fuckin thing. The people are fucked.. 20. The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. The owners of this country know the truth: Its called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. Thats the problem. Fortunately, fans of Carlin are not easily persuaded that everything must align with partisan preference. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. When society, government and organized religion showed their ugly sides, the iconic Carlin fearlessly jumped on stage to challenge their hypocrisy and corruption.Carlin's comedy wasn't just funny; it was a deep dive into human psychology and social criticism. 94. 85. 81. Germany lost the Second World War. Surround yourself with what you love. ~ (George Carlin). Goalcast is an inspiring community for achievers dedicated to helping you improve all aspects of your life. Just a friendly reminder that George Carlin would despise and verbally disembowel the vast majority of pundits, public figures, and random idiots currently heaping praise on him because it's trendy. ABC News: LGBTQ+ lawmakers finding themselves fighting literally just to exist, Antony Blinken too busy to say if he accepts that Hunter Bidens laptop was not disinformation, Heres the Montana state rep whod rather her daughter commit suicide than transition, Super Mario Bros movie illegally streamed on Twitter, US military tracking another mysterious balloon, NYC Mayor Eric Adams says Tex. Im completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ", "Conservatives don't give a shit about you until you reach military age. Famous quotes on life, death, politics and of course the American government. What do dogs do on their day off? As for me, Ill be home on that day, doing essentially the same thing as you, the only difference is, when I get finished masturbating, Im going to have a little something to show for it folks. 5. Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny? ~ (George Carlin). The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. Laugh often, long and loud. Love, was the kind of person you could hang out with and [], Slim and soft-spoken, endearingly warm and witty, with an enviable knack for captivating the interest of his audiences during his [], How can a sickly boy, suffering from asthma, rickets and rheumatic fever, transform himself into an accomplished gymnast, a wrestler [], With his simple, unpretentious writing style, characterized by an unfiltered, punchy honesty and violent and sexual imagery, Bukowski managed to [], Born in 1910 in Hall, Indiana, John Robert Wooden, aka the Wizard of Westwood, was an American basketball player and [], Short Funny George Carlin Quotes that will make you Laugh, Best George Carlin Quotes to make you Laugh and Think Out of the Box, Insightful George Carlin Quotes on Politics and Government, Inspirational George Carlin Quotes on Life, Society and People, Provocative George Carlin Quotes on Religion that will Remind you there is a Funny Side of God, 80 Woody Allen Quotes About Missing Your Own Funeral and Other Life Stories, 60+ Edgar Allan Poe Quotes to Take You on a Mystery Ride, 51 Elvis Presley Quotes About the Essence of Life and Rock n Roll, 50 Harvey Milk Quotes To Help Us Never Silence Hope, 44 Astonishing Mary Astell Quotes that Spoke of Gender Equality Earlier Than You Think, 50 Unconventional Quotes From Future About Love And Life, 70 Pertinent James Madison Quotes That Can Still Inspire a Better State, 60 Powerful Led Zeppelin Quotes About Love, Life And Death, 65 Exceptional Ruth Bader Ginsburg Quotes About The Fight For Justice, 70 Ariana Grande Quotes That Will Inspire You And Make You Fall In Love, Best 90 George Orwell Quotes on the Danger of Oppression, 75 Jane Austen Quotes on the Truth of Love, The Best Eckhart Tolle Quotes About Now & Being, 70 Karl Marx Quotes to Form Conscience on Social Issues, 60+ Alexander The Great Quotes on the Idea of an Empire, 99 Leonardo Da Vinci Quotes About Knowledge, Art and Inspiration, 50+ Motivational Leo Buscaglia Quotes on Living and Learning, 100+ Yuval Noah Harari Quotes About the World Today, 70+ Joseph Pilates Quotes About the Pilates Method and Your Bodys Potential, 66 Gritty Charles Bukowski Quotes for Restless Souls, 110 John Wooden Quotes to Help You Coach Yourself. 73. So I don't trust none of them.". Ice Cube added the brief caption, "Facts.". 17. Some people see the glass half full. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. ~ (George Carlin). I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on metheyre cramming for their final exam. Why would he do that? Youre just going to wind up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. Im happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in. ~ (George Carlin). Many libertarians--such as us--praise Carlin for his intelligent social criticisms and contributions to a countercultural ethos that perpetually challenges political orthodoxy. Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. Laugh until you gasp for breath. ~ (George Carlin). Deal with it. Some critics felt that Ice Cube's willingness to work with Republicans signaled his support for Trump. And they will readily admit to being awkward: Im such a klutz! But they will never admit to having a poor sense of humor or being a bad driver. ~ (George Carlin). His comedy routines and sayings are among the most widely spread in our society. I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. 68. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. Its what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. ~ (George Carlin). Copyright Twitchy.com/Salem Media. 120. Follow the link for the full transcript, its worth it, but here are a few choice excerpts: When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. George Carlin was one of the greatest comedians of all time. 82. For Exclusive Deals, New Product Alerts, Free Articles, Libertarian News & More! everybody complains about politicians. Right in the fucking head. 79. Carlin certainly aimed to provoke, but its the why and how of it that made him so exceptional. And in 2017,Rolling Stone magazine ranked Carlin second on its list of the 50 Best Stand-Up Comics of All Time, just behind Richard Pryor. Everything He ever makesdies. 31. "Because Carlin brutally bashed political correctness and used vulgar language--some of which is considered taboo today--many neo-puritan progressives have abandoned him and completely dismissed his brilliant works.It's a tragedy that he was relegated to an unworthy status by so many on the left, considering how deeply sympathetic he was to marginalized groups who have suffered oppression, abuse and mistreatment. "I have certain rules I live by. "Everybody's been mad at me, cause I haven't been on the f**king, y'know, the gravy train of these candidates, especially Joe Biden and Harris. 60. Leave these f**king people alone for Christ's sake. 26. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. He said: Once you leave the womb, conservatives dont care about you until you reach military age. Dont just teach your children to read Teach your children to question what they read, teach them to question everything. I think its the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. ~ (George Carlin). 30 Best George Carlin Quotes The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. The planet is fine. BAM! If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. TIME takes a look at some of the legendary comedian's most memorable lines. But wheres the logic in that? 62. The planet is fine. Then they think you are just fine, just what they've been looking for. They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. But once you're born, you're on your own. God has. Its never just a game when youre winning. ~ (George Carlin). 86. After harping on his skepticism of politicians, particularly Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden, 51-year-old Ice Cube doubled down on his distrust of the government on Tuesday by sharing a famous quote by the late, great comedian George Carlin on Twitter. ", "Here's all you need to know about men and women. He Was Fatally Beaten by Memphis Police Now People Around the World Are Sharing #SunsetsForTyre in His Honor, 41 Daughter Quotes That Will Touch and Melt Your Heart, Monday Motivation: 36 Powerful Quotes to Jump-Start the Beginning of Your Week, 20 Most Inspiring Martin Luther King Jr. They're all in favor of the unborn. It creates a hostile work environment. ~ (George Carlin). 106. A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. ~ (George Carlin). Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit. Cocked, locked, and ready-to-rock. Some national parks have long waiting lists for. God has a three-day weekend. ~ (George Carlin). Web421 quotes from George Carlin: 'The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. 35. Hes not a cheese. George Carlin Quotes George Denis Patrick Carlin or better known as George Carlin is a Grammy Award-winning American solo comedian, actor and writer. Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Jesus, Gandhi, Lincoln, John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, John Lennon, they all said, "Try to live together peacefully." Im not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. Yeah the public sucks. They don't like him because the media and the academic elite have brainwashed them to the point where they cannot think beyond liberal orthodoxy.Carlin remarked that it was a terrible shame that liberals were leading the war against free speech. ", "Never underestimate the power ofstupid people in large groups. In his 50-year career as one of Americas most poignant and provocative social critics, the irreverent actor, author and comedian left no sacred cow unsinged as he took to lobbing one grenade after the next into the comfort zones of American life. As a lifelong stand-up comedian, Carlin had a lot of opportunities to speak his mindand religion and politics were two of his favorite subjects. You can find out more about our use, change your default settings, and withdraw your consent at any time with effect for the future by visiting Cookies Settings, which can also be found in the footer of the site. Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. They believe a woman's primary role is to function as a broodmare for the state. 9 View more comments #2 Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. 14. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. ~ (George Carlin). "Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is 119. Somebodys gonna be disappointed. Somebodys wasting their fucking time. I took his shoes. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. Keep 'em showing up at those 'jobs. He was a true originala brash, intelligent, eloquent voice that cut to the quick. And probably increase. ~ (George Carlin). He joked about it but he was dead serious. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? The [], The 4th President of the United States was an American statesman, diplomat, and Founding Father. 109. If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else. They've long since bought and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the statehouses, the city halls. Test of Metal: Will of Iron, Nerves of Steel, Heart of Gold, Balls of Brass. ~ (George Carlin). Copyright 2017 iComedyTV.com. ", "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. ~ (George Carlin). He joked about it but he was dead serious. Then youre just what theyre looking for. 34. We talk too much,love too seldom, and hate too often. I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood. ~ (George Carlin). Electricity is really just organized lightning. Deal with it. ~ (George Carlin). Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. ", "Catholics and other Christians are against abortions and they're against homosexuality. Swimming is not a sport. If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and concentrated as hard as they could on peace and goodwill, all the killing and cruelty in the world would continue. I don't have pet peeves - I have major psychotic fucking hatreds. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. 58. However, he calls himself an apatheist (meaning that he's an atheist who doesn't care about the topic). Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning. ~ (George Carlin). 110. Analyse the Republicans now.#DemVoice1 #Fresh pic.twitter.com/1VVJdfOnVg, Tony #DemVoice1 (@TonyHussein4) May 21, 2022. As for the poor, they tell us theyve This wiki was last updated on 11 Apr 2012 by: Today we're opening contributions to all readers. Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice? ~ (George Carlin). And apparently Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. ~ (George Carlin). 27 George Carlin Quotes For Freethinkers and Rebels by Libertarian Country. 55. This country was founded by slave owners who wanted to be free. They will do anything for the unborn. Two reasons. The Kennedy Center posthumously awarded this year's Mark Twain Prize for American Humor to George Carlin. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions. At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. ", "Careful. I was a loner as a child. He said: [There was] a lot of classroom freedomin fact there was so much freedom that by eighth grade, many of us had lost the faith. In America, anyone can become president. If you have selfish ignorant citizens If you have selfish ignorant citizens, youre going to get selfish ignorant leaders. 67. Considered as one of the greatest stand-up comedians of all ", "Have you ever wondered whyRepublicansare so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? They own and control the corporations. Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? ~ (George Carlin). Instead of division let's have a laugh about what we share in common. The following statement is true. 48. Military cemeteries around the world are packed with brainwashed dead soldiers who were convinced God was on their side. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders. Praise for George Carlin's social and political criticisms and his contributions to a The future will soon be a thing of the past. When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. ~ (George Carlin). He was one of the first to know it was all bullshit propagated by government and corporate elites. Witty George Carlin Quotes. We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. ~ (George Carlin). https://t.co/f7cD8Ng2AA. What's the fucking mystery? 41. Here are some powerful quotes of pure humor and sparkling intellect to follow you through the day! I had an imaginary friend I didnt bother with him. ~ (George Carlin). Carlin considered conservatives and Republicans the greedy, warmongering class in political ideologies. A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. Web390K subscribers in the quotes community. I think that speaks for itself. Craziest Republican Quotes of the 21st Century, Best Anti-Gun Jokes and One-Liners About Gun Control, Funny Arnold Schwarzenegger Quotes as Actor and Politician. In America, anyone can become president. So I have solved this little political dilemma for myself in a very simple way: on election-day, I-STAY-HOME. In this George Carlin quote, Carlin was talking about the saying there is no I in team. Some people see things that are and ask, Why? So, have a little fun. Ironic that political wings have come to fight over claiming Carlins humor for their own affiliations when his comedy career was a controversial compilation of his own bold assessments and ruthless truths that could offend anyone and everyone on a given topic with neither prejudice nor remorse. Indeed, George Carlin was in a class of his own, however this would only be half the story. If God is all powerful, can He make a stone so big that He Himself cant lift it? ~ (George Carlin). George Carlin quotes government sayings, in particular, are thought-provoking. He had a way of critiquing and making fun of the government without necessarily getting into trouble. This made him outstanding. Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. Political correctness is America's newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. Considered as one of the greatest stand-up comedians of all time, his distinctive and provocative style of speeches, aimed at ridiculing the vices of the American society, redefined the genre and influenced a great number of comics.He started his career in the radio and in nightclub acts before his breakout in a variety of television shows that made him a popular household name. Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. An idle mind is the devils workshop. And the devils name is Alzheimers. ~ (George Carlin). 15. They are our elected officials. ~ (George Carlin). 107. Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. What kind of pro-life is that? Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. When you visit the site, Dotdash Meredith and its partners may store or retrieve information on your browser, mostly in the form of cookies. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. ~ (George Carlin). Now theres one thing you might have noticed i dont complain about: politicians. Its what our system produces: Garbage in. Well, not overnight, you cant see the sun at night. Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? 49. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. ~ (George Carlin). America prays for God to destroy our enemies. WebGeorge Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. Some people see things that are, and ask, why? The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language. ~ (George Carlin). Several reasons. Soon enough youll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. Everyone smiles in the same He was an outspoken, acerbic social critic, and what came out of his mouthcould be shocking or even sometimes vulgar, but often his railings against injustice or stupidity or corruption shone a light on some dark areas as he said things that others would or could not say.
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george carlin quotes on politics